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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24357352">Lover, Be Good to Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonCakeDesign/pseuds/LemonCakeDesign'>LemonCakeDesign</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Almost (Sweet Music) [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XIV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Tragic Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:34:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24357352</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonCakeDesign/pseuds/LemonCakeDesign</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Ah, be love in its disrepute</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Scorches the hillside and salts every root</i>
  <br/>
  <i>And watches the slowin’ and starvin' of troops</i>
  <br/>
  <i>And, lover, be good to me</i>
</p><p>When Valliant was young, she met a beautiful pirate with an even more beautiful dream. What else could she do but fall in love?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlwyb Bloefhiswyn/Warrior of Light</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Almost (Sweet Music) [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1535039</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Lover, Be Good to Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Another meeting with the Alliance leaders, and Valliant can feel a headache coming on. It’s been meeting after meeting, she thinks, since the war calmed down. Like everyone got bored with not much else to do and decided to fill all their time with meetings.</p><p>At least she’s got Pike with her this time, and he’s annoyed about something Thancred did. Which means that every time someone makes a dumb comment, he snorts and rolls his eyes. And that means that Valliant gets to watch Merlwyb’s face get redder and redder.</p><p>“The Maelstrom forces have reported no troubles with the Garleans at sea,” Merlwyb says, pointedly not looking in their direction. “To be expected, of course, it has hardly ever been the better of their force. Our ground forces have been a bit out of sorts lately, but—<em> Sergeant L’oatel </em>, do you have something you would like to add?” The anger finally reaches its peak as Pike snorts once more.</p><p>Pike’s eyes narrow, and Valliant tries to keep the grin off her face. “I just thought ‘out of sorts’ was an interesting way to word ‘fell apart at the first sign of trouble because they’ve gotten lazy.’”</p><p>Oh, now the vein on her forehead has begun to pulse. “They have <em> hardly </em> gotten lazy. They were just caught off guard. I expect them to be in top shape the next time they face the enemy.”</p><p>“One squadron will be, I’m sure,” Pike says with a smirk.</p><p>Merlwyb stands and slams her hands down on the table. “Every day, I question why we let you into these meetings, if you are simply going to undermine every comment with your trite little asides.”</p><p>Pike doesn’t even bother standing, just crosses his arms over his chest and leans back. “And I don’t understand the point of not acknowledging your mistakes, Admiral, but you’ve never been particularly good at that.”</p><p>“You little—”</p><p>“Oh, relax, Merly,” Valliant says with an eye roll of her own. “He’s an asshole, but he’s not wrong. Deficiencies in your forces that we can’t account for weaken all of us. Now can we get on with the meeting? Some of us have other things to do with our days.”</p><p>Merlwyb clenches her jaw and sits down, looking away. “Fine.”</p><p>The meeting concludes soon after that, with an odd tension, and Pike practically runs from the room as soon as he can. “I hate those meetings,” he tells Valliant. “I’m so glad you’re the one who usually handles them.”</p><p>Valliant snorts and nudges him. “I wish you were there more often, to be honest. Watching Merlwyb utterly lose it was hilarious.”</p><p>“Speaking of that,” Pike says, and the tone of his voice makes her tense. “‘Merly?’ Since when were you and the Admiral on pet names basis?”</p><p>“Did I call her that?” Valliant feels herself warm, cheeks flaring with embarrassed heat. “We, uh, knew each other growing up.”</p><p>“Oh,” Pike says thoughtfully. “So you guys fucked.”</p><p>The surprise of his blatancy tears a laugh from her. “Twelve, kid, you don’t hold back at all.”</p><p>“I can’t believe you judge me for sleeping with <em> Thancred </em>,” Pike complains. “I mean, seriously? The Admiral?”</p><p>“She was...different, when we were young,” Valliant finds herself explaining. “Idealistic. Unjaded. I think that’s still in her somewhere, but...well. It’s hard being in charge of a whole nation. Especially one like Limsa.”</p><p>Pike looks at her with wide eyes. “Oh. You didn’t just have sex with her. You <em> loved </em> her.”</p><p>Valliant shrugs. “It’s in the past,” she says. “I don’t really feel like dredging all that up right now.”</p><p>“Right, right, of course,” Pike says. “Do you want to hear about the stupid shit Thancred did?”</p><p>“Of course. Can I make fun of him for it?”</p><p>“What do I look like, a monster?” Pike grins. “Of course you can. He deserves it.”</p>
<hr/><p>Valliant Skye is the only daughter of a fisherman, and she is content.</p><p>She spends her days on his boat, hauling up nets full of silvery fish, feeling the spray of salt on her skin, the sun bearing down on her, and her evenings at the orphanage, sparing what time and coin she can. It fills her heart with joy to see their smiling faces, and she thinks that she has all she could want out of life.</p><p>And one day, at twenty five years old, she meets a young woman, who shines with idealism and a dream, and she starts to realize, oh, there’s that to ask for, too.</p><p>It’s a chance meeting. Valliant’s just finished tying up the small fishing vessel for the day. It’s a smaller haul today, but still plenty, and as she finishes bartering with Sisipu in the Fisher’s guild for her pay, she heads to the market.</p><p>There’s some form of commotion in Hawker’s Alley, and Valliant rolls her eyes as she sees two pirates brawling in the middle of the throughway. If she didn’t desperately need to get past them to see about setting up repairs for the boat, she would probably just ignore them (it’s dangerous to get involved in pirate business, after all), but since she <em> does </em>, Valliant rolls up her sleeves and sets to separating the two men.</p><p>“I don’t know what in the hells is your problem,” Valliant says, holding up the smaller of the two by his collar, the other trapped under her boot. “But you’re impeding the business of these fine folk, including me. Take it elsewhere or let it go, lads.”</p><p>The Hyur she’s holding nods quickly, and she sets him back down. The man under her boot scowls up at her, then his expression turns, settling into one of fear. Valliant, who’s barely even glaring at this point, is confused until she hears an amused chuckle behind her.</p><p>“I don’t know what the case is,” Merlwyb Bloefhiswyn, newly minted captain of the League of Lost Bastards, says, “But I must ask that you release my men, miss.”</p><p>Valliant shrugs and takes her foot off the man. “Simply trying to go about my business, Captain,” she says cheerfully. “Perhaps you should keep a closer eye on them. Most of us don’t mind a bit of roughhousing, but when it impedes my business, well. I do have to get involved.”</p><p>There’s a murmur of discontent from the crowd. Even the bravest among them tend not to mess with the Lost Bastards. But Valliant had never seen much sense in such things; if you let those big enough and mean enough run roughshod over you, then you’d be living your life under them forever.</p><p>Merlwyb smirks. “Brave words, girl.”</p><p>“Sure.” Valliant rolls her eyes. “Do you have other business with me, Captain, or can I see about getting my boat fixed?”</p><p>“Do you mind if I accompany you?” Merlwyb steps up to her side. “I fear more of my men may be about, and it wouldn’t do to have their egos any further bruised by you.”</p><p>Valliant shrugs. “Do as you wish.” She marches off, down the alley, towards the shipwright. Merlwyb sticks by her side.</p><p>“What kind of boat?” Merlwyb asks.</p><p>“A fishing vessel,” Valliant replies. “Nothing quite as fancy as any of your fleet, I’d wager.”</p><p>Merlwyb inclines her head. “Perhaps,” she says. “But your work...it feeds the hungry and it doesn’t require you to hurt anyone. Being ‘fancy’ is not all there is to life. Your work is necessary and honorable.”</p><p>Valliant feels her cheeks color. “You’re pretty odd, Captain.”</p><p>“Merlwyb,” Merlwyb says. “If you’d like. And I don’t believe I caught your name?”</p><p>“Valliant,” she says, holding out her hand. “Nice to officially meet you, Merlwyb.”</p><p>Merlwyb takes her hand, grip firm and calloused. “Nice to officially meet you, too.”</p>
<hr/><p>After that, Merlwyb just keeps...showing up.</p><p>Many days, Valliant finds herself pulling her boat up, to find Merlwyb hovering at the dock. And they get to talking, first the halting, awkward small talk of two people just getting to know each other, then eventually telling each other stories about their lives.</p><p>And then they start to meet off the docks. Merlwyb asks her to take a walk, they have a chance meeting at the Drowning Wench, Valliant invites her to a play the orphanage is putting on. And there’s something about these meetings, the intimacy, that finds them both opening up.</p><p>Merlwyb tells her of her dreams, as they sit on the upper parts of Limsa Lominsa, staring out at the stars and the way they reflect in the sea.</p><p>“I want to outlaw piracy,” she confesses. “I want to drag the whole city, kicking and screaming, into the civilised age. I want the other parts of Eorzea not to look at us like we’re little more than barbarians and criminals. I want…” and here she looks at Valliant. “I want them to look at Limsa, and see people like <em> you </em>, not like me.”</p><p>And maybe it’s just the stars, or the wine they’ve drunk, or just the fact that her passion shines through her like she carries god in her soul, but Valliant has never loved anyone more in that moment than she loves Merlwyb. So she does the only thing she can. She leans over and kisses Merlwyb.</p><p>Merlwyb kisses back, hands knotting into Valliant’s short locks. There’s a desperation between them, a feeling that needs to be <em> known </em>, that both of them in that moment need to be understood by the other.</p><p>“I’ll support you,” Valliant says, when they pull away for breath. “Anything you want, Merlwyb, I’d support you in it. I’d go into the Navigator’s domain and steal her harpoon if it was what you wanted.”</p><p>Merlwyb smiles. “Right now?” She leans in, so Valliant feels her breath on her lips. “All I want is you.”</p><p>Valliant is there, when Merlwyb returns from the New World, having charted a path there. She listens in awe as she tells her, between kisses and breathless smiles, of leading her men in battle against an invincible fleet and winning. She helps Merlwyb prepare for the Trident, rallying the local peoples to her side.</p><p>And she’s there, when Merlwyb’s ship rounds the lower half of Vylbrand, leagues ahead of any of her foes. Her cheer rings the loudest as Merlwyb is declared Admiral of Limsa Lominsa.</p><p>When Merlwyb kisses her that night when they celebrate, Valliant can taste her favorite wine on her lips. Valliant’s never had anything so nice in her life, besides Merlwyb, and she savors it. She smiles into the kiss.</p><p>It’s not the first time they spend a night together, but it is the first time Valliant wakes, Merlwyb cuddled up to her chest, and hears Merlwyb murmur “I love you” into her breasts. </p><p>“I love you too, Merly,” Valliant says, pushing the light locks back from her lover’s face. “Always will.”</p>
<hr/><p>In 1562, Garlemald starts making motions to march on Eorzea.</p><p>These things are beyond the ken of a simple fisherwoman, however, even one that warms the bed of the Admiral of Limsa Lominsa, and Valliant doesn’t think much of it by the time the rumors reach her. She’s too busy soothing the worries of Merlwyb as she’s drafting the Galadion Accord to the protest of practically <em> every </em> pirate that darkens Vylbrand’s shores.</p><p>It’s not until Merlwyb makes an offhand comment about allowing them to pillage Garlean ships that Valliant starts to realize that war is coming to their shores. It’s not that she wasn’t aware of Garlemald and their campaign to conquer the known world, but it’s very different when your girlfriend begins making plans to establish a standing army. It chills Valliant to her core to think about.</p><p>“I think I want to join the Maelstrom,” she says to Merlwyb, one day, and Merlwyb freezes.</p><p>“Absolutely not,” Merlwyb says, voice stern. “Valliant, I can’t—I <em> won’t </em>let you be on the frontlines. I am only capable of being the Admiral because I know you are safe. If you were there...I don’t know if I would be able to focus.”</p><p>“That’s cowardly,” Valliant bites, the anger in her rising hot and fierce. “To say that-that the sons and daughters of every other Lominsan should be risked, but not me, because I sleep with you?”</p><p>“That’s unfair,” Merlwyb states, her own anger rising in response. “Valliant, you’re not even a fighter. Your presence there would hardly make a difference. They do not need the body of one more woman more than they need the focus of their Admiral.”</p><p>Valliant lets out a frustrated huff and turns away. “I am not a <em> child </em>—”</p><p>“No, you’re just a fisherwoman,” Merlwyb bites back. “What, do you expect to go in and hit them with your fishing rod? At best, you’d be trained in, what, a year? Maybe two? And by that time we will have crushed Garlemald.”</p><p>Valliant grits her teeth. “I suppose you have a point.”</p><p>It’s a moot point, by the next day, because the <em> Agrius </em>falls into Silvertear Lake, killing an ancient dragon, and Garlemald runs with their tails between their legs. All the military build up has to be redistributed, carefully, and Valliant abandons her anger to support Merlwyb, because she loves her more than she wants to hold a grudge.</p><p>Still, when a young man asks her where he could find a job, carrying a blade at his side, Valliant gives him one: teach her how to fight. And Aldis, as she learns he’s called, gladly accepts.</p>
<hr/><p>Garlemald returns, en force, nearly a decade later. </p><p>By this point, Valliant still hasn’t told Merlwyb of the secret lessons she had taken from Aldis. It had seemed easy; she hadn’t needed the skills she’d learned (at an exceptional rate, according to Aldis, and maybe he was fudging the truth, but she glows with the praise all the same), even though she kept them sharp. And she knew Merlwyb would only be upset with it.</p><p>Still, when she hears the rumors rise up that Garlemald is truly stirring, not just skirmishes on the border, she knows she can’t sit back this time. And so, she strides into Merlwyb’s office, trusty blade strapped to her hip, and stands before her lover.</p><p>“Induct me into the Maelstrom,” she says. “I know how to fight, learned from one of the best gladiators Ul’dah has ever seen. I will be an asset on the frontlines.”</p><p>Merlwyb looks pale, paler than usual. She sits there for a while, looking between the blade and Valliant’s resolute face. Then she sighs and sets the papers she was looking through to the side. “My answer is the same as before, I won’t be able to—”</p><p>“Damn what you will and won’t be able to do!” Valliant slams a hand on Merlwyb’s desk. “I cannot, in good conscience, sit back while good men and women march off to their deaths, and say ‘well, Merlwyb’s doing her part, that’s enough for the both of us.’ Twelve, I would see more and more children in the orphanage, and how could I look at them knowing that I could have saved even one of their parents?”</p><p>“And what of me?” Merlwyb stands, coming around the desk to rest her hand on Valliant’s arm. “Love, if you were to die...I wouldn’t be able to go on. I have only gotten this far because you were at my side.”</p><p>“You killed your father and took over one of the biggest and most feared pirate companies in Limsa Lominsa long before you met me.” Valliant shakes off her arm. “I won’t be swayed by pretty words, Merly. Not when I can do something to help.”</p><p>Merlwyb grips the desk behind her. “None of the Grand Companies will take you, if I have anything to say about it,” she snarls. “I <em> will </em> keep you safe, Valliant. Even if I have to lock you in the cells.”</p><p>“How <em> dare </em> you—”</p><p>“I <em> dare </em>because I have lost too many that I love!” Merlwyb shouts. “My parents, good men and women in my crew, dear friends—I won’t see you amongst their number, Valliant!”</p><p>Valliant steps back, and the anger drains out of her. “Don’t worry, Admiral,” she says, and Merlwyb looks like she’s been slapped. “You won’t see me again anyway.”</p><p>She turns and leaves the room, slamming the door behind her.</p>
<hr/><p>She goes to Ul’dah, first, because Aldis was from there, and the ferry goes directly to Vesper Bay.</p><p>The carriage ride to Ul’dah is long and bumpy, but it gives her time to think. She considers giving a fake name, but discards the idea quickly. Valliant hasn’t had enough time to get used to the idea, and it’s possible Merlwyb would have just given her description anyway. Instead she tries to think of ways to get them to let her in anyway, and she gets all the way up to “challenging the Bull of Ala Mhigo with only her sword and a whole lotta gumption” when the carriage slows and stops just outside the Steps of Thal. </p><p>And oh. Valliant’s really going to do this.</p><p>The merchant on the carriage disembarks next to her, and he gives her a pat on the shoulder. “It’ll be alright, lass, whatever you’re struggling with. Twelve provides.”</p><p>It’s not advice or even helpful in the slightest, but Valliant calms anyway, and she nods to the man. Then, taking a deep breath, she starts up the steps.</p><p>She finds her way to the Hall of Flames easily enough, because it’s on the main drag of the city, and she wanders up to the counter. “I want to see about signing up with the Flames?” she asks the Lalafellin woman standing there, cursing the waver in her voice.</p><p>“I see,” the woman says. “Can I get your name?”</p><p>“Valliant Skye,” she says, and the woman nods, then stops short. Valliant sighs to herself, and tries to count if she has enough gil to make it to Gridania.</p><p>“Miss Skye,” the woman says. “I think you may know this, but I was told I may hear from you. Can you follow me, please?”</p><p>Valliant blinks, and nods. She follows the woman (Chochoyi Choyi, she introduces herself as) down a long corridor and into a room. And Valliant’s spent enough time in Merlwyb’s office to recognize that this must be where General Aldynn keeps quarter.</p><p>She perches in one of the wooden chairs, feeling younger than her nearly forty years. It reminds her of her school years, waiting for the teacher to come in and tell her off for messing about in class.</p><p>The door opens, and Raubahn Aldynn steps in. He’s a tall man, nearly as tall as her, and she would wager around her age. His dark skin is riddled scars, though whether that’s from the war or from his time as a gladiator, she doesn’t know.</p><p>He gives her a nod as he crosses the room, settling into the large wooden chair behind the desk. He sighs.</p><p>“So your Merlwyb’s…” he waves a hand.</p><p>“Yes,” Valliant says, and then after a pause: “Or I was, at least. Things are complicated, as I assume you’ve heard.”</p><p>“Hm. I don’t much appreciate a trumped up pirate sending me a messenger and telling me what to do with my own troops.” Raubahn stretches and leans back. “But things being as they are, I can’t much afford to foster ill will between our companies.”</p><p>Valliant nods to herself. “I’m sorry, General. The last thing I want is to create an incident.”</p><p>“What <em>do</em> you want then, lass?”</p><p>Valliant takes a deep breath, and looks at her hands. “I...I want to fight, sir. I want to protect my home and those I love with my own two hands. I don’t want to sit back, pretty in Merlwyb—the Admiral’s bed, knowing brave men and women are dying to keep me there. I want…” She lets out her breath in a woosh, then looks Raubahn dead in the eye, eyes alight with passion. “I want to send Garlemald all the way back to Ilsabard, tails between their legs, and make sure they know never to mess with Eorzea again.”</p><p>Raubahn looks surprised, and then he laughs, an uproarious laugh that shocks Valliant into frozen silence. “Would that half my men had your passion!” he says, still chuckling to himself. “We’d win the war in no time.” He stands and crosses the room to stand before her. “To tell you the truth, lass, I don’t give a damn what Merlwyb will say. If you come to me and tell me that you want to protect Eorzea with fervor like that, I’d never say no. So, consider this your indoctrination, Miss Skye.” He smiles, then crosses to the door and knocks on it. Chochoyi and a young Hyur man walk in, in full Flame regalia, and Raubahn nods to her.</p><p>Valliant stands up at their direction, and all three of them salute, crossing their right arms over their chests, as Raubahn begins to speak. “Valliant Skye—you stand poised to enter a sacred trust. The Flames of Ul’dah burn bright, casting light where there is dark and purging evil wheresoever it lurks. We are ever ready to meet the nation’s enemies in battle, be they beastmen, Garleans, or worse. At a word, you must be ready to lay down your life to maintain the peace and prosperity of Ul’dah. To join our ranks, you must forsake all other nations. Only then may you commit yourself to the fire, and be reborn as an Immortal Flame. Burn as one of us, Valliant Skye, and together we shall chase the darkness from Ul’dah and all of Eorzea!” Raubahn smiles at her, and then continues. “It is customary to swear an oath, if you'd like.”</p><p>Valliant takes a deep breath, and the words leave her unbidden. “My sword for Ul’dah. I will protect her light ‘til the end, whatever the cost.”</p><p>Raubahn nods. “Valliant Skye, I hereby confer upon you the rank of Private, third class. Welcome to the Immortal Flames, Private. May you fight to the last for coin and country.” Then the three salute her once more.</p><p>Valliant lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, and salutes them right back.</p>
<hr/><p>Despite all her training, Valliant is not prepared for the chaos of battle.</p><p>But she has always been headstrong and hard working, and she throws the same dogged determination behind battle as she did into fishing. She quickly picks up the use of shield, better to protect her and her fellows, and makes a name for herself as the one who will carry comrades back from the brink, no matter how dire the situation.</p><p>She soars through the ranks, earning commendations and medals for each comrade she saves. And yet they serve, to her, as a grim reminder of those whose bodies still lie rotting in the trenches they’ve abandoned. </p><p>She remembers each name that she can, writing them on a scrap of paper that she keeps tucked into a pocket of the blue coat she wears into battle. It lies there, next to the picture of Merlwyb that she just can’t bear to leave behind.</p><p>Valliant hasn’t been back to Limsa Lominsa since her fight with Merlwyb. There’s nothing left for her, anyhow, except the orphanage, and they’ve managed without her before. </p><p>She sees Merlwyb, once or twice, when the Alliance congregates to discuss the war, but Merlwyb appears to not even notice her presence. It rankles, and festers the anger still lingering in her from that last argument, but there’s nothing for it. Valliant is sure she would just try to convince her to abandon the Flames if they did speak.</p><p>And she could never. Even if her resolve had waned, Valliant has made a family here, in the men and women she fights alongside. She has their back and she has theirs, and to abandon that now would be worse than cowardice. It would be treason.</p><p>So she doesn’t regret. Instead, she fights, and ignores the ache in her chest where her heart used to be.</p>
<hr/><p>To call Carteneau Flats a battlefield is to bury the lede.</p><p>It would be more accurate to call it a mass grave.</p><p>In the weeks following the descent, Merlwyb waits for news. She’s still angry, still upset at Valliant for putting herself in harm’s way, but she knows she would forgive it all in an instant if she just knew she was safe.</p><p>But the body count piles up higher than the count of those they find alive, and with every report Merlwyb finds herself more and more hardened. By the time they’re finished scouring the ruined grounds, Merlwyb is ready to hear that they found her body and move on. It would hurt, of course, but it would be closure.</p><p>They don’t find Valliant’s body.</p><p>It’s impossible to know if she’s one of the dozens who were simply too beyond recognition to identify. At least Merlwyb has the knowledge that she isn’t part of the missing Warriors, those who did their best to stop the fall and save Eorzea, because she can still remember every detail of Valliant’s face, twisted with anger as she calls her Admiral and storms out of her office.</p><p>There’s nothing for it, Merlwyb decides. She just has to mourn her love, regret the words she said, and move on.</p><p>And she does. She cracks down on the beast tribes, keeping the Kobolds and the Sahagin in check as best she can. She sends an army of men to die to their gods, but sees the Primals defeated, and calls it a job well done. They keep the pirates in check, giving them free reign over Garlean vessels and nothing else.</p><p>If she spends every night looking at the empty side of the bed until exhaustion pulls her unwillingly to sleep, then that’s her business and no one else's. Eventually, that passes, too, and she sleeps well, even if she dreams of a different life, with a beautiful woman by her side.</p><p>Five years after the Calamity, a Miqo’te boy stands in her office, and she names him her envoy, because the fire and kindness in him reminds her of Valliant. It aches, but in a good way, that lets her know she’s healing.</p><p>And then she hears who the boy fought Ifrit with.</p>
<hr/><p>“Why didn’t you tell me you were <em> alive </em>?!”</p><p>“I thought you knew,” Valliant says, shrugging. She feels off kilter, seeing Merlwyb in the Waking Sands. Seeing her for the first time since she woke to a changed world, in the sand outside of Ul’dah. “I reported to the Flames when I woke up, I figured Raubahn would have told you.”</p><p>“You didn’t think I would like to hear that from you?” Merlwyb looks hurt, which only pisses Valliant off.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Merlwyb, what part of you not talking to me for several years because I joined the Flames was supposed to make me think you would want to hear from me?” Valliant stands, getting up in her face. “I’m getting mixed messages.”</p><p>“I thought you were <em> dead </em>, for five years!” Merlwyb jabs a finger into Valliant’s plate armor. “I mourned you.”</p><p>“Good for you.” Valliant rolls her eyes. “Does that make up for the fact you abandoned me because I refused to agree with you?”</p><p>“That’s not fair, Valliant,” Merlwyb says. “I didn’t want to lose you.”</p><p>“And yet, you lost me anyway.” Valliant drops her arms, and looks away. “Why are you here, Merlwyb?”</p><p>“I wanted to see if you wanted to come home,” Merlwyb says, placing her hand on Valliant’s arm. “If you were ready to stop fighting—”</p><p>“Five years, and you haven’t changed,” Valliant interrupts. She shakes off Merlwyb’s hand. “I’m not done. There’s still people to save.”</p><p>“There will <em> always </em>be people to save!” Merlwyb shouts. “Leave it to someone else, for Twelve’s sake. You almost died.”</p><p>“But I didn’t, and now I have a power that I can use to really help people.” Valliant shakes her head. “I thought <em> this </em>is why you loved me, Merlwyb, for who I am. I’m not some-some little houseplant that you can set in the corner and admire.”</p><p>“I <em> do </em> love you,” Merlwyb says softly. “That’s why I want you safe.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t be me, if I were safe,” Valliant says. “If that safety left others to carry my burden. I’ve lost people too, Merlwyb. But I have the power to keep those around me safe, by fighting alongside them. I fought with you for years, for your dreams. And all I wanted was for you to fight for my dreams, too.” She lets out a shaky breath. “Leave, Merlwyb. Don’t come back. I don’t want you around anymore.”</p><p>Merlwyb reels back, but she nods, and leaves. The door closes behind her with a soft click, and Valliant sighs, throwing herself back onto the bed.</p><p>The door opens again, and she rears up. “I swear, if you’re back to argue—oh. It’s you.”</p><p>Pike, the new member of the Scions, waves cautiously from the doorway. “I heard shouting,” he says, eyes wide. “Is everything alright?”</p><p>“Just fine, kid. Just arguing with-with an old friend.”</p><p>“Oh, okay.” Pike shuffles awkwardly. “Um, I’m sorry, this is kind of an odd question…” he trails off.</p><p>“Go on, out with it,” Valliant says gently.</p><p>He takes a deep breath. “Do you know how to braid hair? I used to do it on my own, but if I’m going to be fighting more primals like that, I’m going to need it to be a bit tighter.”</p><p>Valliant grins. “Lucky for you, kid, I’m a master at braiding. Let me take a look.”</p>
<hr/><p>When Valliant finally tells the whole story to Pike, on a night that he didn’t ask, she leaves out some parts.</p><p>The way Merlwyb’s eyes shined when she told Valliant her dreams. The taste of Lohmani red on her lips. The way her heart ached with regret and dying hope when Merlwyb touched her that last time they spoke.</p><p>Not because she wouldn’t tell Pike these things, but because she wouldn’t tell anyone. Some parts of her love, she decides, should be for her and her alone.</p><p>Pike looks at her with wide eyes as she finishes, and he surges across the table to wrap her in a hug. His boney shoulder clips her in the cheek, but Valliant finds that she doesn’t mind. </p><p>“Thank you for telling me,” he says, voice muffled against her cheek. He pulls back, leaving one hand on her shoulder. “I wish that things could have been different for you.”</p><p>“It’s not all bad,” Valliant says. “Because if all that happened, I wouldn’t have met you, would I?”</p><p>Pike’s eyes shine with tears, and he screws up his face. “I shouldn’t be the one crying when it’s your sad story,” he says, waving a hand in front of his face.</p><p>Valliant laughs, and some of the hurt she’s carried, all this time, goes with it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my magnum opus, I swear to god. I was gripped with pure lesbian loving energy and made to sit at my computer and write. And it's fucking beautiful, if I do say so myself.</p><p>(I do.)</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed this look into our favorite lesbian mom friend! Valliant is one of my favorite characters to write, honestly.</p><p>The song the title and summary is from is "Be" by Hozier, because if you're gonna write about tragic lesbians, ain't no better place to start.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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